Saturn Retro 2013, 33- Passion and Inertia

Day 36, Annual Saturn Retrograde 2013, 25^th Mar, Monday. As repeated n times before, Saturn Retrograde is a time of progress, development, breakthrough for Sun ruled people. And regression, repetition, contemplation, for Saturn ruled people.

Yesterday my friend GRB came down. We were sitting and remembering about our Bombay hostel days, at B, and C roads, Church gate, Marine Drive. Whenever, GRB and I get together, it inevitably leads to some rewind, recollection of our Church gate hostel days. His student days of Sydenham college, and staying in GCH Hostel, C- road and mine studying in J.J. College of Architecture and residence in J. S. Hall hostel at B- road. Those hostel days, I as totally Sun ruled. Rajasic, driven, excited, super passionate, always seeking the adrenalin rush, the BUZZ! Always on the move, seeking actualization! Whereas, GRB was rolling along, inertial, free flowing, meandering, chilled out. Totally a laidback Saturnine creature. However, nature/ universe/ the planets have their own ways of getting you connected with your inner nature. Especially, when you are doing the opposite, in such a pig headed way. And GRB’s nemesis came in form of his final year board exams. When, the entire year had gone by in wastage, and he had NOT attended a single class, the entire YEAR! And had merely a month to finish a mammoth, one year long, 11 subjects wide, course to complete, with demonic subjects like accountancy etc. He found an tuition teacher, Anjali Dalve who was so astonished/ aghast at his situation, and yet took him on, as an sheer experiment. Listening to his military styled, regimental preparation for his boards was like listening to the preparations of someone going to WAR! Sieze the day! And once more into the Fray. The raging blood of the battlefield. Nietzsche’s “Will To POWER”. I exist because I overcome, I conquer. I Challenge!!  I prevail. I conquer!! And finally, my friend GRB, did pass out, with 55% in his graduation. One of his fellow hostel mates, who had studied the whole year throughout, and scored just 5% above him, was SO aghast at this, he cried. But such is the blood-rush of the Sun. It Thrives on CHALLENGE!! The Razors EDGE!!

In contrast, my hostel life was full of drama, zest, excitement, rush, adrenalin. I was a full on SOLAR creature. Always in chaos and battle. Always on the Edge of things! Always! Manic depressive! Sometimes extremely HIGH, and at others, in a extreme LOW! But finally in semester 8, it all crashed into a big pileup. With double ATKT, I was six months behind, and had to go through the Thesis of final year alone. I had 3 or four friends who were with me. And the solitary, mind numbing, hum drum, inertia, the Saturnine heaviness inertia, finally overcame me. And it is only by sheer inertia, that I overcame the mountain of my thesis. My perseverance, stamina, mechanical, mindless physicality. And forever after, whenever I have faced some serious Karmic obstacle after that, I remember those architecture Thesis days. And bring persistence, mechanical, mindless repetition to the table. Only that has somehow seen me through. Mechanically wearing it down. The colossal Karmic Mountains. Through persistent mindless INERTIA!!

Later, my school friend NP called from U.S. She’s been a active participator in my astro programmes for the past almost Five years. Always claiming to be a “non-believer” but always seeing every suggestion, solution, sincerely and super-conscientiously to its thorough end. Gradually, she has flowered into her Full-on Solar blossoming these past few years. I discussed the parallel hostel stories of GRB and me. GRB striving and thriving through sheer ADRENALIN/ WAR Mode. And myself through zombified, mechanical, persistent INERTIA. Few years back I used to call her buffalo/ elephant for her persistent, Saturnine zeal. But now, NP had become full-on Solar. A Lioness, craving the thrill of the Hunt, the Adrenalin rush, the ZEST, the electricity pumping through the veins. And myself, craving the security, laidback, INERTIA, the serpentine, meandering pathways of unfolding. Especially in these Saturn Retro times. When Sun people become EXTRA/ULTRA Solar. And Saturnines like us super sluggish, buffalo-ish. In our childhood, people like NP, GRB and I were forcefully fit into something else. By society, friends, circumstance. And now, it’s only in mid-life, that we find our true natures, true tracks of becoming. Into our inherent, underlying, INNER Sun- Saturn natures. It took a lot of battering, and a lot of time. But at least we found it. And can be our own damned actual selves..

Thanks Surya-dev for GRB, NP. And Jai Shanidev for myself!!