Day 54, Annual Saturn Retrograde 2013, 12th April, Friday. As repeated in the last six posts, this year Retro 2013, has been a Exact Mirror Inverse/ Symmetric Reverse/ Diametric Opposite of Retro 2009. Week for week. Sometimes even, day for day.
Yesternight, my friend Ravi Deka calling post 1 a.m., exactly after I shut off computer after signing off from my post WAS a Exact mirror inverse of 53rd night of Retro 2009. Mirroring the events in a reverse replication. Creating shadow/opposite EVENT of Retro 2009! Day for frigging day!
In Retro 2009, 54th day and 55th day were the last two days of STAGE 4/ Green, a period of suspended animation, a false and Virtual Higher Realm. An UN-REAL Oasis. A Temporary heaven. Before illusion finally gave away to Saturnine Gravity. Conversely/ inversely, now, in Retro 2013, 54th day and 55th day, today and tomorrow, should be the last two days of STAGE 0/ Grey, a period of morbid exile, a grotesque and Visceral Lower Realm. An DIS-REAL purgatory. A Transitory Hell. Before nightmarish reality, hopefully, finally gives away to Saturnine Relief. (This is so amazing: first I wrote the paragraph above, describing Retro 2009, 54th day and 55th day. Then, copy pasted it below, and simply REVERSED all the words, phrases. Lo! The paragraph describing Retro 2013, 54th day and 55th day got automatically created. No need to use any brains here! Only Saturn Retro contrasts!)
Anyways, in Retro 2009, uptil 55th day, I was in such a sheer linear motion. And only on 55th day, Retro 2009, noon, does the first mention of cycles/ round and around motion, the Ouspensky/ Gurdjeff colour cycle first find any mention. Conversely, since quite sometime, in this Retro 2013, I’ve been only talking round and around, in ellipses, circles, spirals, of/ about meandering, serpentine, cyclic pathways. It’s only from, tomorrow 55th day, Retro 2013, noon, hopefully, will some linearity ensue. Simple progression hopefully commence.
Today 54th day, Retro 2013, I’m still feeling dehydrated, dazed, zonked. But things around me, are happening in great motion. Events on the fringes, edges, margins of my vision. Far edges of my horizon. On 54th day, of Retro 2009, I was still persistent, with my ACAD training. Even though wife had landed up in Mumbai itself, at my friends place, for a short trip. Strange thing is, like Ravi Deka’s phenomenon yesterday, people around me are ALSO getting facilitated in this REVERSAL. In Retro 2009, even though wife had reached Mumbai on 8th week, with wings on her feet, all excited/ restless, on the 54th day, we somehow stayed back at friend Monindro’s place at Belapur, the whole and entire day. And I was pushing ahead in my full on, against-all-odds, Spartan, relentless endeavor of ACAD training. I quote from my journal (54th day/ 22 feb ’09): “Whole day went by blank. I gave Sango many ideas:- to go all the way to Marine Drive, or maybe, see a movie, but, she was also so Uncharacteristically LETHARGIC in Mumbai. So, I let it pass”.
In contrast/ converse, now, in Retro 2013, even though wife Sangeeta was down last few days with wasp bites on her feet, limping, hobbling, but today 54th Day, she was off on site visits, etc, despite her injuries, Characteristically OVERACTIVE, in her site work. I had advised her to stay back, but off she was on her trajectory. And I’m drowning deep in my meandering serpentine loops of saturnine/ Saturn retro/ cyclic observations. Nothing could be more INVERSE! Than the (almost!) corresponding daily events between Retro 2009 and this Retro 2013!!
About the RESULT/ outcome of my friend Ravi Deka’s yesternights transcendental, paranormal, half state dream, about one of his former lovers, in great detail. (Check previous post). Today, he gave feedback, the “fleeting dream” he had has turned into it’s actual nightmarish essence. His former object of amour had a mud slinging fest at his expense on the facebook PUBLIC profile. On someone else’s page!! I explained to him, that he, on 53rd night of Retro 2013, was where I MYSELF WAS, in 53rd night of Retro 2009. In a dream like/ False Oasis/ artificial suspension/ with venomous, poisonous underlying reality. Bizarre that the Inversion previously restricted to my own individual happenings is showing Saturnine signs/ indications in other around me!! The radius of observation previously limited to my own narrow musings/ contrasts is showing signs in other too!
For years, I have studied deconstruction fundas/theories, only now, to have it’s LIVE dynamic expression and utility in this research and observation of Saturn Retrograde. Especially the linguistic grammatical inverse/ reversal between years Retro 2009 and retro 2013. Also, few days back, my friend wife Priyanka Mitra Shee had written a poignant, philosophical post on her Facebook Timeline. About things in their “essence” as removed from relativity of perspectives and viewpoints. The classic question in philosophy: What are things as such on their OWN? Without our differential viewpoints. Today, after the events of past few days I think, I can answer this important question for my own self: FOR me, everything is Relative! Depending on my Saturnine positioning, Karma, behaviour, things either become angels or demons to me. There are ALMOST NO NOUNS in my dictionary. Mostly it’s all Adjectives, Verbs, Adverbs. Things in motion OR Flux. Hecceities. What Deleuze calls his Plane of Immanence. Qualities of speed/ slowness, continuity/ rupture, rise/fall, growth/decay, Heaven/ Hell. Nothing in itself, but in relative to something, even in relative to itself. Things in a continuing Flux! Movement/ Motion. What Priyanka is talking about is the solar order: BEING/ Identity/ Essence/ Logos/ STATE/ UNIT. And what I’m talking about is the Saturnine order: BEcomings/ journeys/ trails/ odysseys/ processes of Change/ Motion. The hallmark of karmic transformation/ exchange. What Deleuze calls Hecceities. And this highly Solar, Retrograde phase is whence we Saturn ruled, temporarily dwell in Circles. Cyclicity. During Retro, the path of the blazing liner, straight line is forbidden for us. If we attempt so, we become absorbed into the cyclic whirlpool of the Colour Wheel of Ouspensky/ Gurdjeff. (check diagram in previous post). In fact, the linear endeavourof rupture attempted by me in Retro 2009, is STILL spawning it’s residual whorls/ whirlpools/loops of Round and round spiraling motions, till this very current year, 2013! (Hope it doesn’t surpass this year)! At least, some of the residual damage, I’ve been able to counteract with my melodrama/ ranring/ cyclic/ meandering paths. Especially in this annual Saturn Retro 2013.
It's now afternoon, 54th day, Retro 2013, about 5:24 pm. My wife called to say, that the car stopped at Green park market, and she had to abandon it with driver, and proceed to site on auto rickshaw, hobbling on her wasp bitten foot. Hundreds of obstacles, yet movements. On 54th day, Retro 2009, the scene was opposite. Hundreds of incentives, to go out, and explore our memory days of Mumbai, but at the end, her staying back, passively resigned, to inertia. So 54th day, Retro 2009 showed unlimited possibilities, yet zero progress, whereas, 54th day, Retro 2013, showed unlimited problems/ hindrances/obstacles, yet Non- zero, tangible progress. In fact, my entire life up, until now, has been a life of GREAT POTENTIAL but ZERO PROGRESS. Hopefully, this retro 2013, can help reverse the equation to Great many problems, but TANGIBLE progress!! Hope is a drug, we all are hooked on to!!
Also on 54th day, Retro 2009, I resumed my Concrete/ Practical/ Forward/ Napoleonic journey of ACAD training with full zest after the interruptions of preceding days. And today, on 54th day, Retro 2013, I’ve resumed my Theoretical/ Impractical/ Regressive/ Kalidas/ Devdas type Saturn Retro musings/ ramblings with full fervor after the interruptions of preceding days. Sentence by sentence reversals!! On both 54th day of retro 2009 and 2013, I was pushing the accelerator hard. BUT, in diametrically OPPOSITE directions! In 2009, trying to be a Spartan/ Raymond Man/Real Man/ Warrior, and in 2013, trying to be a Madman/ Rambling, foaming streetside beggar with a Placard “End is near” or some similar proclamation. Haha! I’m liking this self imagery! Raymonds man/ to street side, madman beggar! Jai Shanidev!
On 54th day, Retro 2009, I continued to proceed rapidly ahead on my albeit depleting/ decaying/ waning/ Martian path, like a White star on it’s last throes of overstrained illuminance, before finally COLLAPSING inward into a infinite gravity Black Hole! And, now/ today, On 54th day, Retro 2013, I continued to proceed hurtle backward/ inward like on my oversaturated/ oozing/ burgeoning/ bursting/ viralling Saturnine path, like a oversaturated Black Body in physics, teetering on it’s final frontier of ionization, before finally EXPLODING outward into a ultra coloured StarBurst!
After/ since years of maintaining carefully recorded, diary/journals, I don’t feel the need to do so anymore. What I had to record, I did. And on the basis of that, this virtual, live release, on blogging platform is happening. This exhaust, this purging.
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend, S. Das, who has a rare blood condition, Polycythemia Vera, (check link: Polycythemia Vera) which necessitates regular Bloodlettings, to keep his ever thickening, hi- haemoglobin content blood at safe and Low levels. Most other blood conditions need blood donation/ transfusions. Here, in this case, my friend had to SUBTRACT blood from his body, to keep his pressure low. Sounds like the perfect Saturn Ketu condition, when one needs Subtraction and Addition to compensate for an Excessive buildup. Sounds like my blogging/ bloodletting to keep my Brain pressure low during this high pressure, Solar period of Saturn Retro. Polycythemia Vera. The wisdom of bloodletting!!