Day 54, Annual Saturn Retrograde 2013, 12th April,
Friday. As repeated in the last six posts, this year Retro 2013, has been a
Exact Mirror Inverse/ Symmetric Reverse/ Diametric Opposite of Retro 2009. Week
for week. Sometimes even, day for day.
Yesternight, my friend Ravi Deka calling post 1 a.m.,
exactly after I shut off computer after signing off from my post WAS a Exact
mirror inverse of 53rd night of Retro 2009. Mirroring the events in
a reverse replication. Creating shadow/opposite EVENT of Retro 2009! Day for
frigging day!
In Retro 2009, 54th day and 55th day
were the last two days of STAGE 4/
Green, a period of suspended animation, a false and Virtual Higher Realm. An
UN-REAL Oasis. A Temporary heaven. Before illusion finally gave away to Saturnine
Gravity. Conversely/ inversely, now, in Retro 2013, 54th
day and 55th day, today and tomorrow, should be the last two days
of STAGE 0/ Grey, a period of morbid
exile, a grotesque and Visceral Lower Realm. An DIS-REAL purgatory. A
Transitory Hell. Before nightmarish reality, hopefully, finally gives away to Saturnine Relief. (This is so
amazing: first I wrote the paragraph above, describing Retro 2009, 54th
day and 55th day. Then, copy pasted it below, and simply REVERSED
all the words, phrases. Lo! The paragraph describing Retro 2013, 54th
day and 55th day got automatically created. No need to use any
brains here! Only Saturn Retro contrasts!)
Anyways, in Retro 2009, uptil 55th day, I was in
such a sheer linear motion. And only on 55th day, Retro 2009, noon,
does the first mention of cycles/ round and around motion, the Ouspensky/
Gurdjeff colour cycle first find any mention. Conversely, since quite sometime,
in this Retro 2013, I’ve been only talking round and around, in ellipses,
circles, spirals, of/ about meandering, serpentine, cyclic pathways. It’s only
from, tomorrow 55th day, Retro 2013, noon, hopefully, will some
linearity ensue. Simple progression hopefully commence.
Today 54th day, Retro 2013, I’m still feeling
dehydrated, dazed, zonked. But things around me, are happening in great motion.
Events on the fringes, edges, margins of my vision. Far edges of my horizon. On
54th day, of Retro 2009, I
was still persistent, with my ACAD training. Even though wife had landed up in
Mumbai itself, at my friends place, for a short trip. Strange thing is, like
Ravi Deka’s phenomenon yesterday, people around me are ALSO getting facilitated
in this REVERSAL. In Retro 2009, even though wife had reached Mumbai on 8th
week, with wings on her feet, all excited/ restless, on the 54th
day, we somehow stayed back at friend Monindro’s place at Belapur, the whole
and entire day. And I was pushing ahead in my full on, against-all-odds,
Spartan, relentless endeavor of ACAD training. I quote from my journal (54th
day/ 22 feb ’09): “Whole day went by blank. I gave Sango many ideas:- to go all
the way to Marine Drive,
or maybe, see a movie, but, she was also so Uncharacteristically LETHARGIC in
Mumbai. So, I let it pass”.
In contrast/ converse, now, in Retro 2013, even though
wife Sangeeta was down last few days with wasp bites on her feet, limping,
hobbling, but today 54th Day, she was off on site visits, etc,
despite her injuries, Characteristically OVERACTIVE, in her site work. I had
advised her to stay back, but off she was on her trajectory. And I’m drowning deep
in my meandering serpentine loops of saturnine/ Saturn retro/ cyclic
observations. Nothing could be more INVERSE! Than the (almost!) corresponding
daily events between Retro 2009 and this Retro 2013!!
About the RESULT/ outcome of my friend Ravi Deka’s
yesternights transcendental, paranormal, half state dream, about one of his
former lovers, in great detail. (Check previous post). Today, he gave feedback,
the “fleeting dream” he had has turned into it’s actual nightmarish essence.
His former object of amour had a mud slinging fest at his expense on the
facebook PUBLIC profile. On someone else’s page!! I explained to him, that he,
on 53rd night of Retro 2013, was where I MYSELF WAS, in 53rd night of Retro 2009. In a
dream like/ False Oasis/ artificial suspension/ with venomous, poisonous
underlying reality. Bizarre that the Inversion previously restricted to my own
individual happenings is showing Saturnine signs/ indications in other around
me!! The radius of observation previously limited to my own narrow musings/
contrasts is showing signs in other too!
For years, I have studied deconstruction fundas/theories,
only now, to have it’s LIVE dynamic expression and utility in this research and
observation of Saturn Retrograde. Especially the linguistic grammatical inverse/
reversal between years Retro 2009 and retro 2013. Also, few days back, my
friend wife Priyanka Mitra Shee had written a poignant, philosophical post on
her Facebook Timeline. About things in their “essence” as removed from
relativity of perspectives and viewpoints. The classic question in philosophy:
What are things as such on their OWN? Without our differential viewpoints.
Today, after the events of past few days I think, I can answer this important
question for my own self: FOR me, everything is Relative! Depending on my
Saturnine positioning, Karma, behaviour, things either become angels or demons
to me. There are ALMOST NO NOUNS in my dictionary. Mostly it’s all Adjectives,
Verbs, Adverbs. Things in motion OR Flux. Hecceities. What Deleuze calls his
Plane of Immanence. Qualities of speed/ slowness, continuity/ rupture,
rise/fall, growth/decay, Heaven/ Hell. Nothing in itself, but in relative to
something, even in relative to itself. Things in a continuing Flux! Movement/
Motion. What Priyanka is talking about is the solar order: BEING/ Identity/
Essence/ Logos/ STATE/ UNIT. And what I’m talking about is the Saturnine order:
BEcomings/ journeys/ trails/ odysseys/ processes of Change/ Motion. The
hallmark of karmic transformation/ exchange. What Deleuze calls Hecceities. And
this highly Solar, Retrograde phase is whence we Saturn ruled, temporarily
dwell in Circles. Cyclicity. During Retro, the path of the blazing liner,
straight line is forbidden for us. If we attempt so, we become absorbed into
the cyclic whirlpool of the Colour Wheel of Ouspensky/ Gurdjeff. (check diagram
in previous post). In fact, the linear endeavourof rupture attempted by me in
Retro 2009, is STILL spawning it’s residual whorls/ whirlpools/loops of Round
and round spiraling motions, till this very current year, 2013! (Hope it
doesn’t surpass this year)! At least, some of the residual damage, I’ve been
able to counteract with my melodrama/ ranring/ cyclic/ meandering paths. Especially
in this annual Saturn Retro 2013.
It's now afternoon, 54th day, Retro 2013, about
5:24 pm. My wife called to say, that the car stopped at Green park market, and
she had to abandon it with driver, and proceed to site on auto rickshaw,
hobbling on her wasp bitten foot. Hundreds of obstacles, yet movements. On 54th
day, Retro 2009, the scene was opposite. Hundreds of incentives, to go out, and
explore our memory days of Mumbai, but at the end, her staying back, passively
resigned, to inertia. So 54th day, Retro 2009 showed unlimited
possibilities, yet zero progress, whereas, 54th day, Retro 2013,
showed unlimited problems/ hindrances/obstacles, yet Non- zero, tangible
progress. In fact, my entire life up, until now, has been a life of GREAT
POTENTIAL but ZERO PROGRESS. Hopefully, this retro 2013, can help reverse the
equation to Great many problems, but TANGIBLE progress!! Hope is a drug, we all are hooked on to!!
Also on 54th day, Retro 2009, I resumed my
Concrete/ Practical/ Forward/ Napoleonic journey of ACAD training with full
zest after the interruptions of preceding days. And today, on 54th day,
Retro 2013, I’ve resumed my Theoretical/ Impractical/ Regressive/ Kalidas/
Devdas type Saturn Retro musings/ ramblings with full fervor after the interruptions
of preceding days. Sentence by sentence reversals!! On both 54th day
of retro 2009 and 2013, I was pushing the accelerator hard. BUT, in
diametrically OPPOSITE directions! In 2009, trying to be a Spartan/ Raymond
Man/Real Man/ Warrior, and in 2013, trying to be a Madman/ Rambling, foaming
streetside beggar with a Placard “End is near” or some similar proclamation.
Haha! I’m liking this self imagery! Raymonds man/ to street side, madman beggar! Jai Shanidev!
On 54th day, Retro 2009, I continued to proceed rapidly
ahead on my albeit depleting/ decaying/ waning/ Martian path, like a White star
on it’s last throes of overstrained
illuminance, before finally COLLAPSING inward into a infinite gravity Black
Hole! And, now/ today, On 54th day, Retro 2013, I continued to
proceed hurtle backward/ inward like on my oversaturated/ oozing/ burgeoning/
bursting/ viralling Saturnine path, like a oversaturated Black Body in physics,
teetering on it’s final frontier of ionization, before finally EXPLODING outward into a ultra coloured
StarBurst!
After/ since years of maintaining carefully recorded,
diary/journals, I don’t feel the need to do so anymore. What I had to record, I
did. And on the basis of that, this virtual, live release, on blogging platform
is happening. This exhaust, this purging.
Yesterday, I
was talking to my friend, S. Das, who has a rare blood condition, Polycythemia Vera, (check link: Polycythemia Vera) which necessitates
regular Bloodlettings, to keep his ever thickening, hi- haemoglobin content
blood at safe and Low levels. Most other blood conditions need blood donation/
transfusions. Here, in this case, my friend had to SUBTRACT blood from his
body, to keep his pressure low. Sounds like the perfect Saturn Ketu condition,
when one needs Subtraction and Addition to compensate for an Excessive buildup.
Sounds like my blogging/ bloodletting to keep my Brain pressure low during this
high pressure, Solar period of Saturn Retro. Polycythemia Vera. The wisdom of bloodletting!!
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