Saturday, February 1, 2014

Log 14: Retro: nostaligias of the future

31st Jan, 2014, 11:56 pm, the midnight hour, witchin' hour. Two and a half hours left for Venus to end it's past 40 days of retrograde motion, and become directional at 2:30 am. How utterly embarrassing that, NOT one day has passed before the last post: "Log 13: Negation of Negation begins" and in the very next post, today it ends, with the ever accompanied blog name change, etc, etc. As I change this blog to it's latest avatar "Retroactive Logs". As I write this post, i am feeling an overly strog sense of Deja Vu, a clear image projected before me, where I'm changing the blog name once again! Such is the necessary repetition, return, recurrence, and self- contradiction of the retroactive journey, the retroactive process.

It is such a fantastic ( and necessary) paradox, that I who have such a repressed/ suppressed, obsessive, and subconscious, almost carnal fetish for the linear, directional, forward and structural, am writing this blog on retroactive motion. But such itself is the necessary paradox contradiction of the retroactive phenomenon, that, somewhere a champion and authority of Retroactive phenomenon, is churning out vast outputs and analysis on structuralism, linearity, and continuity.
And here, today as I "commence'" or maybe, I have forgotten in my long blogging journey, maybe I have recommenced or have returned to the retroactive topic. I symbolically, obsessively, return, regress to my favourite obsessive Michael Jackson tracks, of/ from last two year past: Break of Dawn and Butterflies. Round and roundabout i go, returning to former histories, disguised as the future.

Today, I HAVE to mention the significance of this posts title 'nostalgia of the future". In 1999, when I was overstaying illegally in Film school campus, i was dating a student of camera. Those days, I was outstandingly arrogant of my newfound intellectual, cerebral recognitions across the film students as a serious thinker. The girl i was dating, was on the other, grounded, emotional, and though quite weird, very real, a flesh and blood woman. Those days i had a penchant for the airy, fairy, alluring, ice maidens  (poor masochistic sucker that I was). One day while we were smoking on the evening time, by the cool summer grass of a sultry evening, she discussed with me, a song idea for an upcoming camera exercise. she wanted me to compose music based on her idea: "nostalgia of the future". I asked her what it meant. she said 'one day, in the future, your'e gonna look back, and miss this moment. Getting all nostalgic about it. and i want you to realise that in your music". I laughed at her, told her she should stick to her camera techniques, and leave higher thought to people like us. The song was never composed, the song video never made. today, i want this post to be a tribute to my future nostalgia, when i would look back at my current prick-liness, my current stupidity. i cannot comprehend it now,obviously, but through this 'nostalgia of the future', this retroactive movement, hope  I have some futuristic retrospection of my current time. And become 5 percent better than what i am.. today, when my wife, immobilized by her corn for the past 4 months, dances above her waist, to the flesh and blood music of Carmen McRae, I'm trying to retroactively, look back nostalgically through time, and appreciate the flesh and blood women she is. Even, i remain cereberal, cold, distant and analytical..

Cheers to the Retroactive. camera woman from the past, who saw through time into the future! Cheers to the Nostalgia Of The Future..