Log 22: The eternal process

Today finds me changing this blog name to Karmic Process, and rewriting the introduction page header again. Part of the Karmic Process. Purging, cleansing, modifying, changing, resolving. All different forms, procedures, and meta-dynamics of the Karmic Process. A process that goes on, eternally. Either very consciously, voluntarily, and actively. Or unconsciously, passively and involuntarily. Through deconstruction, interpretation, unraveling, and hundred other uncountable forms that I am yet to discover, or come across, this Karmic process goes on. But when you are conscious of this process, it happens much faster, smoother, and easier. But unconsciously, it is often quite nightmarish. Ghoulish even. My this very act, of  writing this blog on Karmic processes, is a highly personal Karmic Process itself. I write so fucking much! Why couldn't I simply make a book out of it? And become a great authority on the subject. Why blog!! Often when one post contradicts a previous one?? BECAUSE, this very act of this blog, is my own Karmic process. Where I am fated to share my own personal narratives and insights of the Karmic journey, the unfolding of the Karmic process. That's something that took me a billion years to realize.

I took a break from this post, and had the leftover spicy, mutton Chettinad from yesternight, when we had gone to Swagath restaurant, South Indian + seafood etc. It was tasting so awesome, one day later. When the spices had completely seeped and soaked into the fiber, and the oil had coagulated.  Because of Rahu in my third, I somehow find much higher, greater pleasures from stored, canned or leftover food. What, I want to say is that, it's a good sign. As opposed to last time, when I changed this blog into an avante garde, post modern thingy, and experienced a Karmic backlash. Today, by fine tuning the name/ decription of this blog to Karmic Process, I experienced a slice of pleasure,  uniqu, and specific to me. Rahu, leftover, oily, non veg food. A small unforeseen side effect of the Karmic Process? A small sign from the universe? I guess the way I am, I love the smaller signs better. ;) Cheerio/ Oreo! Cheers to the Process.

Log 21: Deconstruction equals Clearing

Today, once again, I changed the name, or rather modified the blog name from Karmic Purging to Karmic Clearing. Purging sounded much more violent, and daemonic. I saw a recent horror movie The Conjuring stg, Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson who are a married couple, professional demonologists, who help a suburban American family, plagued by a demonic witch. I found the movie excessively nightmarish, demonic. The violence of possession, chaos, and expurgation, And hence begin rethinking over the term Purging. It sounded too severe, and signifies a far more  extreme procedure. Karmic purging is but one of the extreme methods of Karmic clearing. But there are much more other, gradual process also. The overall term I had been searching for is/ was the term/ process of Karmic Clearing/ karmic resolution. Personally, I like the sound of this much more.. non violent, smoother, continuous, flowing. And instead of one major explosive expurgation, which is symbolised by serpentine Ketu, I would rather personally prefer the slow, continuous, GRADUAL process of Karmic Clearing, karmic resolutions as signified by Rahu or Saturn, my Karaka planets. That slower, gradual, process works much better with me. Hers to Karmic Clearings..

to be contd...

Log 20: Meridian Lines of becoming

Sunday morning, our friend Sukirti dropped by unannounced, out of nowhere. She was my wife's colleague in Yum, and had been our immediate neighbour. After she shifted to Gurgaon, we had completely lost touch. To my surprise, the place I had been invited for lunch was in her very same building compound. The odds of this coincidence happening, i.e, her landing up at GK II, on the same morning, when I was going to her very residential compound in Gurgaon.

Coincidences/ synchronicities often reflect underlying Karma in action. As we traveled together towards Gurgaon, we had a long, winding chat about many issues. When she was our neighbour, I had tried to teach her a lot about my approaches to astrology/ Karma, but she had her own opposing schools of thought, which had led to a lot of heated debates. But, interacting after a long gap, I realised that, we had both been right and wrong at the same time. While we chose to understand and validate our individual paths, we renounced the validity, existence of the opposing path. But  Karmic understanding makes us realize the existence, validity, and importance of the other, the opposing path. Everyone has their karma, what works for someone, depends on their own individual karma, their stars, their particular energy. And, beneath the surface layers, diametrically opposite paths often led to the very same common goals and objectives. But to have an understanding of this, we had to personally go through the first hand process of Karmic Purging! Shedding off pending karma, inflated egos, and biased viewpoints through the voluntary/ involuntary processes of karmic purging. The more you purge, more the universe fills you up with free knowledge, gyaan, evolution, and your life with coincidences and synchronicity. Amen to that!

NOTE: as opposed to my earlier experience/ effort/ process of writing/ blogging, this meridian line of  Karmic Purging, this longitudinal axis of thought, has enabled me to connect the dots. Now I seem to easily pen down my many lateral experiences, and seemingly parallel events. I feel, finding your meridian line of becoming, blossoms many strange coincidences and synchronicity. And how does one find one's meridian line of becoming. Just practice in Karmic purging.  ;)

Log 19: karmic reflections

From the earlier post, I continue the effects, feedbacks i recieve from the universe/ environment after my renaming this to Karmic Purgation. First, I get a very on the dot accurate daily forecast from astrology.com, which is usually pretty vague for me, but which has been eerily accurate for my wife for a very long time. Just see the paradox: wife of an astro guy getting an very accurate daily forecast from a mechanical auto update from a popular astrology site, but thats how it is!! My astro forecast read:
 

Hi Adim! Here is your Daily Cosmic Calendar for Saturday, February 8

Every so often the universe enjoys taking a siesta in its seeming perpetual bombardment of humanity and terra firma with challenging and discordant solar, lunar and planetary alignments. When this kind of 24-hour time-period occurs, it is wise to reflect on recent changes in your life, review the errors and mistakes of the past, and count your blessings. In addition, today's Moon sign -- Gemini -- carries more significance than usual due to the scarcity of other celestial aspects and because the lunar orb only makes a mentally-energizing, 60-degree liaison with Uranus (5:57AM). Thus, reading, writing and research are reinforced. How ironic that since yesterday I have been taking notes from Deleuzes' Anti- Oedipus in collaboration for my friend MM and later from Jean Baudrillard's  essays Transparencey of Evil, Blowback of Duality etc. And yestenight till 3 am, was taking physical notes (pen and paper) from the great work of Deconstruction: Jacques Derrida's "On Grammatology".  Later, a friend Ritika Jawa wrote to me on facebook message: "Ur blog on karmic purging is interesting. Is it not based on our planetary movements when we go through such cleansing process, I feel its like soul activates few things based on its evolution in the current cycle to rid of the karmic baggage which is stored in our bodies.". suddenly she was saying something so appropriate to Karmic Purgation. I replied:  "yes, planetary transits are mere mechanishms by undergoing which we PURGE / get rid of the karmic baggage that is stored in our bodies...thats why karmic purging is most important!!!".  Later friend Mousumi Banikya, posted a heartfelt piece on her life, in her blog: Mousumis blog piece: as-life-goes-on . I added both Ritika and Mousumi to my karmic programmLooked like there were other karmic reflections in my immediate  environment after initiating this karmic purgation blog. The high itch to change it's title to something like Karmic Plumbing, Karmic investigations, Karmic chronicles/ musings/ or something along those lines still persists. But let this stay for now. The effects of this karmic purgation have been quite fruitful. In their consequential chains of events. I was actually beginning to whine at this slow phase, but reading the astro update, and the inputs from the two friends above, i feel i am in karmic sync! have a nice weekend!

Log 18: Karmic Purging in action

I'm happy to report that after changing the blog yesternight, name/ path/ mission statement to Karmic Purging, I'm seeing some better changes in my immediate environment. Suddenly things are flowing with better chi'. Such is the vital importance of Karmic purgation/ catharsis/ cleansing in out lives. It allows fresh new energy to flow into our lives. And also, there was a huge pressure on me throughout the entire day, yesterday before I finally got it it right. But today, considerably, with all the planetary positions, etc notwithstanding, suddenly the relaxed feel is very prevalent.
Today, I was supposed to go to my ayurdevic doctor at Chandiwala estate, because past few days, my whole body was burning, eyes vision blurry, urination almost burning, a pain sensation around the kidneys. But today, on it's own I'm feeling much better and relaxed. Thanks to the practice of Karmic Purgation. Thank God, that out of the three blogs, this one: adimphukan.blogspot.in, having my very name in the blog address, is connected and dedicated to the process and reflections of Karmic Purging. Also, as I write this, I feel good, because somewhere inside, my body feels that this was what i am/ is/ should supposed to talk, communicate, write about! I am feeling drowsy, and do you know what I connect drowsiness with (from karmic standpoint): this panel below...

That image is from my childhood comic book Kamandi, the Last Boy on Earth, issue no. 55. I had to do a lot of  surfing to get that image. That was the first time I learnt the term "Drowsy" at 6- 7 years. An image grafted onto my mind since childhood, but retroactively, I relate this image approximately  to the Karmic Purgation technique. People talk about power, electricity, shakti, like in case of the. But purged off the positive ions, oxidized electricity, extra buzz, we feel more relaxed, chilled out. The Vortex Beast on the left hand side panel is flaming full on, with electrical  storm energy. But on the right hand side panel, purged off it's energy, it feels relaxed.( Or thats how I feel it should have been.) Generally, excess positive energy, in forms of gemstones, power Yantras, etc, give people more power, energy, excitement, high. But they can make you a mutated and grotesque Vortex beast. But through Karmic Purging, removing all that buzz/ high/ electricity/ shakti/ build up/ high can make you feel quite peaceful and drowsy. Like the Vortex beast chilling on the left...
Amen to Karmic purging!

Log 17: Returning to Karmic Purging

Like I had predicted, merely three posts back, the changing of name and objective of this blog and posts have consequently unleashed a backlash of undesirable effects and consequences upon my life, and immediate environment. Something, that I could have done without, in my long and winding journey of karmic unraveling. Luckily, because of the process of blogging, these embarrassing posts, in evidence of post modern aspirations would sink downwards, hopefully into relative oblivion, after some passage of time. Maybe I'm predestined to spew out karmic musings on these posts. Endlessly and forever! This blog might be form of Karmic catharsis, where the blog process is NOT progressive, but subtractive, reductive, cathartic in some form. Since, Sun- Mercury conjunction is in my 12th house of loss, so writing has to be some sort of subtraction, as in deconstruction.

Purging Karmic Issues= making room for Evolution/ Growth
During the past few days, (check my past few logs), was while transforming this blog completely into a post modern, deconstructive narrative, called Retroactive Blogs was to invite quite a horrific backlash from the Karmic, nightmarish  aspect of it. Divesting this blog of the supernatural, karmic, daeomnic components not only negates the interesting deconstructive, rhizomatic aspects BUT also immediately accelerates such demonic, nightmarish experiences in my own daily life. Immediately negating ALL intellectual breathing space for venturing into Deconstruction, rhizome, and post modern Retroactive perspectives. For me, to move away, to maintain polite Objective, scientific distance from the Karmic visceral standpoint, is to invite the utmost backlash, and wrath of these very Nightmarish Karmic forces. WHEREAS, delving deeply into the nightmarish, karmic, visceral aspect of things often yields some great Deconstructive pearls. WHEREAS, delving deeply, and directly into the nightmarish, karmic aspect of things spawns strange rhizomes of Deconstruction, in their own unpredictable, random style, back into my life.

Log 16: Definitely Maybe

I should have known earlier, that this blog renaming to "Retroactive Logs' would compulsorily, and necessarily counteract itself. BECAUSE that's what Retroactive motion does. Contradict, reverse, even itself. That's why I end changing blog names, statements of purpose, goals, mission statements 1000 times, etc. Since I began this Retroactive Logs, lots of things have begun haphazard in my life. Lots of clear cut boundaries around me, dissolving askew. AND because I changed this blog from a Karmic, Occult, astrological phenomenon to this relatively "Post Modern" terminology, in Retroaction, lots of things have reversed, inversed for me. Suddenly, astrological stuff, mantras, hymns, worship of planets have made a forceful return into my life. With a vengeance, indeed. I feel, blogging on Retroaction, has made my stars retrograde massively. But, dear faithful reader, especially my friend MM, with whom I collaborated, or rather who urged me to initiate this tangent of Retroaction, i shall continue in/ on the contradiction of this Retroactive path/ journey.

From the retroactive, deconstructive perspective, one compulsorily essential phenomenon of writing is that it is self defeating. More so, because I have Sun, Mercury in Virgo, my 12th house. See, I told you that, trying to be too post modern, would retroactively, bring forth the perspectives, heavily into astrological readings! So, now, knowing that the blogging process, is self negating, counteractive, contradictory, I still must then, take this into account and continue/ persevere to write! without having any topic, event, objective to write about, but merely the Retroactive phenomenon, for/ in/ by itself! I know for the fact, that readership of such a process, would be close to zero! As, who could understand, be interested, in retroactive fundas/ ponderings for/ in/ by itself. I should have created a porn blog, or erotic stories, that would have really rocked!! But then, there's so much of it around, about! And because of the freedom of the internet, it has moved onto another level! AND, another thing, am I technologically spoiled? Am I merely blogging, BECAUSE the facility, avenue, medium of blogging exists, and NOT because I have something profound and important to say? Is this the flip side of freedom? Do I have too much spare time on my hands? Am I definitely wasting my time on such stupid self pondering, examinations and analyses? Was this Retroactive initiative, too much than I asked for??

Maybe, I Defintely think so... Hear this song on youtube:  Definitely Maybe- Jeff Beck

Another bizarre thing! Jeff Beck's wailing guitar work of song Defintely Maybe by , on retroactive hindsight, directly reflects the qualities of my other two blogs: Serpentine AND Saturnine. TALK about contradictions/ retroactions..!!

Log 15: Retroactive process of blogging

One majorly relieving thing about blogging under the Retroactive banner is that one can, rather I can,  blog about movements, flows, processes. As opposed to previously blogging about "things", incidents, "happenings", events. Under the banner of the retroactive which is also synonymous with reflection/ retrospection, I can simply turn back on myself, fall inwards and spontaneously begin blogging. I don't need a thing/ topic, I need what Deleuze calls Hecceities, movements, flows, magnitudes of motion. And the effortless ease with which words themselves type themselves out on the  keyboard, is a natural side effect of  the retroactive process. On the 2nd last post "Log 13: Negation of Negation" the retroactive process had already begun, but I had simply not woken up to comprehend/ realise that. The manner in which I was effortlessly oozing thoughts out, was by product of the Retroactive process, but it's only now, on retroactive hindsight, that I begin to comprehend it. I had merely labelled it wrongly as "Negation of Negation" because of the necessary initial mis-recognition that the retroactive process compulsorily involves.

Today, I was re-updating the Page header "Retroactive Intro". I had written about the retroactive journey of my blogging process. But one major contradictory and retroactive element of blogging, which I'm being able to re-alise now, on retroactive hindsight, is that, blogging has been always been for me, much more than an outlet for voicing my  personal expression. in fact, it has been a cathartic, relieving,  mechanism for venting out my excess thoughts, oozing out my excess brain activity. And in a retroactive manner, it's been a medium for reading aloud my own excess thoughts. And furthermore, retroactively, blogging/ writing is a kind of feedback mechanism, which helps me to divorce myself from my excess thoughts. Voila!! I have been always (whenever I have not been trying to project on others with my "great knowledge", cerebral acumen), blogging for my own self. Blogging as a reflective mechanism, a retroactive process, for working my inner angst out. And in the process, making me somewhat lighter! Cheerio'/ Oreo to the Retroactive! Have a great weekend!

Log 14: Retro: nostaligias of the future

31st Jan, 2014, 11:56 pm, the midnight hour, witchin' hour. Two and a half hours left for Venus to end it's past 40 days of retrograde motion, and become directional at 2:30 am. How utterly embarrassing that, NOT one day has passed before the last post: "Log 13: Negation of Negation begins" and in the very next post, today it ends, with the ever accompanied blog name change, etc, etc. As I change this blog to it's latest avatar "Retroactive Logs". As I write this post, i am feeling an overly strog sense of Deja Vu, a clear image projected before me, where I'm changing the blog name once again! Such is the necessary repetition, return, recurrence, and self- contradiction of the retroactive journey, the retroactive process.

It is such a fantastic ( and necessary) paradox, that I who have such a repressed/ suppressed, obsessive, and subconscious, almost carnal fetish for the linear, directional, forward and structural, am writing this blog on retroactive motion. But such itself is the necessary paradox contradiction of the retroactive phenomenon, that, somewhere a champion and authority of Retroactive phenomenon, is churning out vast outputs and analysis on structuralism, linearity, and continuity.
And here, today as I "commence'" or maybe, I have forgotten in my long blogging journey, maybe I have recommenced or have returned to the retroactive topic. I symbolically, obsessively, return, regress to my favourite obsessive Michael Jackson tracks, of/ from last two year past: Break of Dawn and Butterflies. Round and roundabout i go, returning to former histories, disguised as the future.

Today, I HAVE to mention the significance of this posts title 'nostalgia of the future". In 1999, when I was overstaying illegally in Film school campus, i was dating a student of camera. Those days, I was outstandingly arrogant of my newfound intellectual, cerebral recognitions across the film students as a serious thinker. The girl i was dating, was on the other, grounded, emotional, and though quite weird, very real, a flesh and blood woman. Those days i had a penchant for the airy, fairy, alluring, ice maidens  (poor masochistic sucker that I was). One day while we were smoking on the evening time, by the cool summer grass of a sultry evening, she discussed with me, a song idea for an upcoming camera exercise. she wanted me to compose music based on her idea: "nostalgia of the future". I asked her what it meant. she said 'one day, in the future, your'e gonna look back, and miss this moment. Getting all nostalgic about it. and i want you to realise that in your music". I laughed at her, told her she should stick to her camera techniques, and leave higher thought to people like us. The song was never composed, the song video never made. today, i want this post to be a tribute to my future nostalgia, when i would look back at my current prick-liness, my current stupidity. i cannot comprehend it now,obviously, but through this 'nostalgia of the future', this retroactive movement, hope  I have some futuristic retrospection of my current time. And become 5 percent better than what i am.. today, when my wife, immobilized by her corn for the past 4 months, dances above her waist, to the flesh and blood music of Carmen McRae, I'm trying to retroactively, look back nostalgically through time, and appreciate the flesh and blood women she is. Even, i remain cereberal, cold, distant and analytical..

Cheers to the Retroactive. camera woman from the past, who saw through time into the future! Cheers to the Nostalgia Of The Future..