Saturday, June 15, 2013

Saturn Retro 2013, 69- Paris Reversed

15th Jun, Saturday,  2013. Today’s  the 15th day, of the three week Ultra Retro phase. The concluding phase of Annual Saturn Retro, 2013. In the previous post I wrote in detail, about how this year’s Ultra Retro phase has become a reversal of Ultra Retro 2009. A year when I went to Paris, along with my wife on her official tour, despite the death of my then astro guru T.N. Sarma. An unimaginable digression for a Saturnine creature. During the very first day of Ultra Retro 2009, 13th April, the news of death of my then astro guru T.N Sarma, came from hometown Guwahati. He was a major foundation/ cornerstone in ALL our decisions. Suddenly the ground beneath my feet vanished. Despite the utter shock, fallout, two weeks later, I still went along with my wife to Paris on her official tour. The most fantastic UN-Real trip ever! Especially, during the peak  Retro energies of Ultra Retro 2009. It was the my fourth consecutive year of involuntary violation of Annual Saturn Retrograde.  And the Paris Trip, 2009, completely sealed the Karmic programme. And hence, from 2009 itself, there has been a huge incidence of Karmic repayment, atonement.

PARIS REVERSED: contrasts between Retro 2009 and Retro 2013
I wrote in the last post, how in this Ultra Retro 2013 ( 1st- 21st Jun), lingering on, and overstaying in Guwahati hometown because of various obligations, postponing the return trip to Delhi has brought me a lot of criticism/ flak

Whereas, in Ultra Retro 2009, diametrically/ INVERSELY, the Paris trip was all about an universally recognised/ approved/ endorsed/ movement. There was a tremendous universal glamour associated with the Paris trip. It was perceived by ALL as a tremendous NEW PROGRESSION.
  But this Ultra Retro 2013, my delayed return to Delhi, hanging around in my hometown is being acutely  unrecognised/ disapproved/ misunderstood action. It has been perceived by ALL as a tremendous stagnation, backward REGRESSION.

 The Paris Trip of  Ultra Retro 2009, can be termed as involuntary/ passive/ PROGRESSION/ BREAK-through. And, this years Ultra Retro 2013, my current, overdelayed stay in hometown Guwahati trip can be termed as involuntary/ passive/ REGRESSION/ BREAK-down!! 

In the days following up to the Paris Trip, I was in great apprehension, a tremendous build up, supported and endorsed by all. LOGICALLY, rationally, why was I being apprehensive? It was a GREAT adventure ahead!! Conversely, in these days following up to my return trip to Delhi, I am in great apprehension, a tremendous breakdown, criticised and negated by all. LOGICALLY, rationally, why was I being apprehensive? I was ONLY returning to my own place!   

In Ultra Retro 2009, as the days of my Paris trip approached closer, my body was involuntarily being filled with Positive/ electrical/ Buzz/ a kind of nervous torpor. A kind of Tachycardia, accelerated beating of the heart. However, CONVERSELY, this year  Ultra Retro 2013, as the days of my return to Delhi trip approaches closer, my body is involuntarily SLOWING down. As if, being DRAINED of all Adrenalin, and being filled with Sedatives/ heaviness/ drowsiness.. a kind of Primordial lethargy! A kind of Bradycardia, deccelerated beating, slow down of the heart.  

During Ultra Retro 2009, at this moment I was in involuntary ANTI-GRAVITY. And during Retro 2013, at this moment I am in involuntary GRAVITY. Literally, as Im writing this text in Lueits back office, in their GRAVITY Activity Centre!! 

 Such are the signposts/ signs, I seek from Lord Saturn, in this long winding serpentine journey of Saturn Retrograde.  

In Ultra Retro 2009, as the days approached, a grand adventure, the lottery ticket of a great and unimaginable vacation approached. And, in UR 2013, as the days approach for my return to Delhi, an unimaginable feeling of dread, unease, queasiness seems to possess myself. As if, I’m losing my centre in some unimaginable way!  

Ultra Retro was all melodrama about a Positivist/ Forward/ Rapture/ Breakthrough movement. Today,  Ultra Retro 2013, the melodrama is all about Return/ Negation/ Relapse/ Regression/ Residue. Existential questions about  Void/ foundation/ roots/ base.

In 2009, it was all about Paris, a fantasmatic OBJECT of DESIRE! And this year, 2013, is about return to Delhi, the VOID of  EXILE

Ultra Retro 2009 was about flight, rapture, Take off, voyage. And Ultra Retro 2013 has been about Gravity, rupture, landing, return to home AFTER a long Voyage. The hangover of the day after!! The crunching jaws of inescapable Destiny/ Reality, Dis- Real Truth.
 As opposed to the Roman Holiday, magical trip, Un-Real, Sublime, fleeting virtuality of the Paris Trip! 

 In UR 2009, it was about Manifestation of my latent DESIRE towards things exotic/ phoren/ abroad/ bidesh. The longing for the fascinating OTHER, coming true.  But, this year UR 2013, it ‘s ALL about Manifestation of nightmares, secret FEARS!!  The sheer  underlying FEAR of the VOID. The Desert of the Real. Nightmarish visceral Dis-Reailty. After the pastures of heaven, a nightmarish return to Reailty, a Return to Exile

 I think, the major flaw of the Paris Trip, was that it was severely premature, far before its allotted time. And outlandish magnum opus, out of time and place. Whereas, in these past few days of UR 2013, I have seen blossoming, arrival of things, Over-ripe, long delayed, postponed, in their becoming. Things arriving, FAR too LATE, severely delayed in their manifestation.

In the previous post, I wrote how I had been been intensely sharing/ discussing reading Slavoj Zizek’s “Interrogating The Real”, in great detail, with my friend Egg-head. Especially the concept of “Negation of the Negation”. Fascinating thing is, the comparison between Ultra Retro 2009/ Paris Trip and Ultra Retro 2013/ Hometown Visit perfectly YIELDS the contrast between Structuralism/ the fantastic object/ Positivism and the Void/ Negation/ Deconstruction!!   

Compulsory Initial Failure as defined by Lacan
The “great mistake” of the Paris trip, 2009, is the Compulsory Initial Failure as defined by Lacan. It was NECCESARY for my eventual understanding Saturn/ Saturn retrograde/ my version of reality!! 

In Ultra Retro 2009, IF the fantasmatic event of the Virtual/ Unreal Paris trip had NOT happened, during the contradictory phase of Saturn Retro, I could have never experienced the subsequent UNRAVELLING. About the sheer contradiction of Solar/ Logocentric/ Positivist/ Phallocentric thought. The DOWNSide of Rationalism!! Especially for the Saturnine/ Saturn ruled person!!!!  For within the the fantasmatic object/ Retrograde ITSELF is concealed, the very underlying seed of it’s OWN contradiction! The seed of the Great Great Void. For later, as Saturn turned directional, the fantasmatic object/ Ultimate desire of PARIS conveniently NEGATED itself and collapsed upon itself, becoming a Great Void. And harvesting a vast blossoming of Harsh underlying reality. Spawning Harvests  of the Dis-Real, EVER SINCE.  

This year (un) consciously, am I attempting Negation of the Negation?? Creating a forced Event,  to counteract the Primal mistake of the Paris Trip, 2009.

CONCLUSION: my role..
 I feel, that my philosophical disposition, contemplative ardour, thinking attitude is ONE that is COMPLETELY fuelled by Saturn Retrograde energies. Somehow, I WASN’T supposed to be this thinking, great metaphysical contemplator. It’s MERELY the Saturnine factor/ function in RETROGRADE, that is THE causation of all these introspections/ contemplations! That finds me naturally, sitting in the poise of Rodin’s statue “the Thinker”. Because, after four years (2010-13) of counteracting the digressions of  Saturn Retro, years 2006- 09, I have purged myself of the usual unpleasantries of redemption. And have carried this Retrograde exercise into the domains of movement which divulges the philosophical opposition between Logocentric/ Positivism- versus Negation/ Deconstruction. The introspective/ inward mood, motion, I’m currently in, is directly in Contrast with the mood, motion, disposition during Ultra Retro 2009. Wherein, I was in the grasp of a Great and Fantasmatic object of the Paris Trip! Whereas this Ultra Retro 2013, has been about  INERTIA and regression. A RETROACTIVE movement. What Zizek calls Negation of the Negation. The INVERSE of Objective/ Positivist/ Rationalist thought! ESPECIALLY for those Saturn ruled, THIS IS the time to lay backwards and contemplate. Brood endlessly upon subjective complexities. Engage/ address all internal Conflicts/ Contradictions. Dwell in the serpentine backwaters of.. Negation of Negation!