Log 16: Definitely Maybe

I should have known earlier, that this blog renaming to "Retroactive Logs' would compulsorily, and necessarily counteract itself. BECAUSE that's what Retroactive motion does. Contradict, reverse, even itself. That's why I end changing blog names, statements of purpose, goals, mission statements 1000 times, etc. Since I began this Retroactive Logs, lots of things have begun haphazard in my life. Lots of clear cut boundaries around me, dissolving askew. AND because I changed this blog from a Karmic, Occult, astrological phenomenon to this relatively "Post Modern" terminology, in Retroaction, lots of things have reversed, inversed for me. Suddenly, astrological stuff, mantras, hymns, worship of planets have made a forceful return into my life. With a vengeance, indeed. I feel, blogging on Retroaction, has made my stars retrograde massively. But, dear faithful reader, especially my friend MM, with whom I collaborated, or rather who urged me to initiate this tangent of Retroaction, i shall continue in/ on the contradiction of this Retroactive path/ journey.

From the retroactive, deconstructive perspective, one compulsorily essential phenomenon of writing is that it is self defeating. More so, because I have Sun, Mercury in Virgo, my 12th house. See, I told you that, trying to be too post modern, would retroactively, bring forth the perspectives, heavily into astrological readings! So, now, knowing that the blogging process, is self negating, counteractive, contradictory, I still must then, take this into account and continue/ persevere to write! without having any topic, event, objective to write about, but merely the Retroactive phenomenon, for/ in/ by itself! I know for the fact, that readership of such a process, would be close to zero! As, who could understand, be interested, in retroactive fundas/ ponderings for/ in/ by itself. I should have created a porn blog, or erotic stories, that would have really rocked!! But then, there's so much of it around, about! And because of the freedom of the internet, it has moved onto another level! AND, another thing, am I technologically spoiled? Am I merely blogging, BECAUSE the facility, avenue, medium of blogging exists, and NOT because I have something profound and important to say? Is this the flip side of freedom? Do I have too much spare time on my hands? Am I definitely wasting my time on such stupid self pondering, examinations and analyses? Was this Retroactive initiative, too much than I asked for??

Maybe, I Defintely think so... Hear this song on youtube:  Definitely Maybe- Jeff Beck

Another bizarre thing! Jeff Beck's wailing guitar work of song Defintely Maybe by , on retroactive hindsight, directly reflects the qualities of my other two blogs: Serpentine AND Saturnine. TALK about contradictions/ retroactions..!!

Log 15: Retroactive process of blogging

One majorly relieving thing about blogging under the Retroactive banner is that one can, rather I can,  blog about movements, flows, processes. As opposed to previously blogging about "things", incidents, "happenings", events. Under the banner of the retroactive which is also synonymous with reflection/ retrospection, I can simply turn back on myself, fall inwards and spontaneously begin blogging. I don't need a thing/ topic, I need what Deleuze calls Hecceities, movements, flows, magnitudes of motion. And the effortless ease with which words themselves type themselves out on the  keyboard, is a natural side effect of  the retroactive process. On the 2nd last post "Log 13: Negation of Negation" the retroactive process had already begun, but I had simply not woken up to comprehend/ realise that. The manner in which I was effortlessly oozing thoughts out, was by product of the Retroactive process, but it's only now, on retroactive hindsight, that I begin to comprehend it. I had merely labelled it wrongly as "Negation of Negation" because of the necessary initial mis-recognition that the retroactive process compulsorily involves.

Today, I was re-updating the Page header "Retroactive Intro". I had written about the retroactive journey of my blogging process. But one major contradictory and retroactive element of blogging, which I'm being able to re-alise now, on retroactive hindsight, is that, blogging has been always been for me, much more than an outlet for voicing my  personal expression. in fact, it has been a cathartic, relieving,  mechanism for venting out my excess thoughts, oozing out my excess brain activity. And in a retroactive manner, it's been a medium for reading aloud my own excess thoughts. And furthermore, retroactively, blogging/ writing is a kind of feedback mechanism, which helps me to divorce myself from my excess thoughts. Voila!! I have been always (whenever I have not been trying to project on others with my "great knowledge", cerebral acumen), blogging for my own self. Blogging as a reflective mechanism, a retroactive process, for working my inner angst out. And in the process, making me somewhat lighter! Cheerio'/ Oreo to the Retroactive! Have a great weekend!

Log 14: Retro: nostaligias of the future

31st Jan, 2014, 11:56 pm, the midnight hour, witchin' hour. Two and a half hours left for Venus to end it's past 40 days of retrograde motion, and become directional at 2:30 am. How utterly embarrassing that, NOT one day has passed before the last post: "Log 13: Negation of Negation begins" and in the very next post, today it ends, with the ever accompanied blog name change, etc, etc. As I change this blog to it's latest avatar "Retroactive Logs". As I write this post, i am feeling an overly strog sense of Deja Vu, a clear image projected before me, where I'm changing the blog name once again! Such is the necessary repetition, return, recurrence, and self- contradiction of the retroactive journey, the retroactive process.

It is such a fantastic ( and necessary) paradox, that I who have such a repressed/ suppressed, obsessive, and subconscious, almost carnal fetish for the linear, directional, forward and structural, am writing this blog on retroactive motion. But such itself is the necessary paradox contradiction of the retroactive phenomenon, that, somewhere a champion and authority of Retroactive phenomenon, is churning out vast outputs and analysis on structuralism, linearity, and continuity.
And here, today as I "commence'" or maybe, I have forgotten in my long blogging journey, maybe I have recommenced or have returned to the retroactive topic. I symbolically, obsessively, return, regress to my favourite obsessive Michael Jackson tracks, of/ from last two year past: Break of Dawn and Butterflies. Round and roundabout i go, returning to former histories, disguised as the future.

Today, I HAVE to mention the significance of this posts title 'nostalgia of the future". In 1999, when I was overstaying illegally in Film school campus, i was dating a student of camera. Those days, I was outstandingly arrogant of my newfound intellectual, cerebral recognitions across the film students as a serious thinker. The girl i was dating, was on the other, grounded, emotional, and though quite weird, very real, a flesh and blood woman. Those days i had a penchant for the airy, fairy, alluring, ice maidens  (poor masochistic sucker that I was). One day while we were smoking on the evening time, by the cool summer grass of a sultry evening, she discussed with me, a song idea for an upcoming camera exercise. she wanted me to compose music based on her idea: "nostalgia of the future". I asked her what it meant. she said 'one day, in the future, your'e gonna look back, and miss this moment. Getting all nostalgic about it. and i want you to realise that in your music". I laughed at her, told her she should stick to her camera techniques, and leave higher thought to people like us. The song was never composed, the song video never made. today, i want this post to be a tribute to my future nostalgia, when i would look back at my current prick-liness, my current stupidity. i cannot comprehend it now,obviously, but through this 'nostalgia of the future', this retroactive movement, hope  I have some futuristic retrospection of my current time. And become 5 percent better than what i am.. today, when my wife, immobilized by her corn for the past 4 months, dances above her waist, to the flesh and blood music of Carmen McRae, I'm trying to retroactively, look back nostalgically through time, and appreciate the flesh and blood women she is. Even, i remain cereberal, cold, distant and analytical..

Cheers to the Retroactive. camera woman from the past, who saw through time into the future! Cheers to the Nostalgia Of The Future..